Five ways to incorporate the Bible when disciplining.
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Honestly, I have those days—where the kids are running wild, everyone needs something at the exact same time, and before I know it, I’ve lost my cool. I often get overwhelmed by the chaos that we sometimes created in my house when all my children are home. And trust me, the guilt hits hard when I lie in bed replaying how I could’ve handled things differently. But here’s the thing: we’re all human. As moms, we’re doing our best to figure out what works—and sometimes the toughest part is knowing if what we’re doing is right, especially when it comes to disciplining our kids.
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Let’s face it—every child is different. As a young mom still learning the ins and outs of parenting while juggling work, driving kids around, and helping with homework, I know firsthand the trials and triumphs of raising little ones. Even siblings raised in the same home by the same parents can turn out completely different. Parenting quickly teaches you that each child takes you on a unique journey.
My eight-year-old thrives on clear rules and structure. He’s sensitive, so after school he needs quiet time to recharge. I’ve learned to comfort him and give him space to confide in me without pushing. My five-year-old, on the other hand, is a free spirit who blossoms with encouragement rather than strict rules. She eagerly shares everything that bothers her at school.
Balancing their different needs often feels impossible, and some days I’m at my wits’ end. In those moments, I find myself praying for wisdom—asking God to guide my words and actions as I navigate my own emotions. Raising an eight-year-old, a five-year-old, and a baby is a constant search for discipline methods that truly fit each child. The challenge is not just finding those methods, but learning how to make them work in everyday life.
Our job as parents is to provide our children with a strong and lasting foundation that they can confidently build their lives upon as they grow into adulthood. It is our responsibility to carefully shepherd them throughout their upbringing, offering guidance and support so that they always have something solid to lean on during both good times and challenging ones. This foundation should be thoughtfully composed of key elements such as trust, unconditional love, and consistent structure. At times, it is necessary to lovingly show them the consequences of their actions, helping them understand the importance of making wise choices. This process is ultimately an act of love, designed to nurture and guide children toward a life of righteousness. As Proverbs 22:6 wisely reminds us, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it," highlighting the long-lasting impact of our efforts.
I believe that the earlier and more consistently we embed biblical guidance into our children’s lives, the stronger they will be as they face the world. It’s like preparing the soil before planting—nurturing young hearts so they are ready to withstand the challenges adulthood will bring. By providing tools rooted in faith, we build a solid foundation, planting seeds of biblical values that our children can revisit and rely on throughout their lives.
Discipline plays a vital role in this process, teaching them to remain focused on their goals. I often reflect on the wisdom of Dr. Dobson, a trusted voice for many parents back in the day. He reminded us that discipline isn’t about shaming or belittling our children, but rather about helping them understand their mistakes in the moment and gently guiding them to make things right. When we approach discipline this way, children gain a new perspective on their actions, fostering growth that extends far beyond mere rule-following.
None of us are perfect, but by supporting one another through this journey, we create an environment where our children can truly thrive.
How can we use discipline to teach children that every action has a consequence?
Many times, I think of discipline as sports training for the Olympics rather than punishments. My husband often repeats that “If they do well, they get good things, and if they don’t then consequences will meet them”. It is important to ensure that God is not seen as a source of negativity in your household so DO NOT ever say things like “God will send you to Hell for what you have done” or “God doesn’t love you anymore”.
In the Olympic games the athlete is focused on getting the gold. Their coaches have been preparing them for years, teaching them how to build up strong muscles, develop agility, and see the end result. We as parents are the coach in our young children’s lives. We need to help them see the end result to refocusing their anger or disrespect.
Mama to mama, can I just say—bringing prayer into my disciplining moments has truly changed things for me. Before I even talk with my kids about a behavior that needs addressing, I ask if we can pray together. It shifts the atmosphere instantly and helps both of us invite God into the moment, asking for understanding and help to get back on track. Not only does it calm our hearts, but it also teaches our kids to lean on God when things get tough. You know, one thing that’s really helped me is bringing prayer into the middle of those discipline moments—before I even talk to my kids about what went wrong. I’ll ask if we can pause and pray together, just inviting God into that situation. I’ve found it softens the whole atmosphere, for all of us. It gives me a chance to step back, breathe, and ask for a little wisdom. And it shows my kids that we can lean on God when things get tough. And honestly, being consistent with this, has made all the difference in how we handle those challenging moments.
Hebrews 12:11 states:
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful later on. However, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Many times, we hear that to become a great athlete you need to be disciplined. They mean consistency…. Routine is key to a disciplined Biblical household just as it is in the sports field.
How can you create a disciplined home filled with faith?
Discipline is more effective when children are raised in a home environment that constantly reinforces Biblical values. Surround your children with positive influences, including Christian books, music, and media. Just allowing your children to watch movies and engage in activities that promote faith, such as attending church regularly and participating in community service is wonderful for their growth.
Summertime is the most important time in my disciplinary journey because I realize that routine gets thrown out the window every year. Kids go to bed at 10 and their room looks like a toy monster threw up. I wanted to make my children more independent this Summer and I needed a good system that would work for two kids at different developmental stages of life. Raising kids with stable routines shows to create smoother transitions for kids and a serener home. In order to help with this I made their room into a preschool…. Labeling where all their toys go and organizing the toys based on what type of play they get from them. Art goes with art, books go with books, ect. Instilling a permanent place for their toys helps when I ask them to clean, of course with loads of help. But this is a great way of teaching them routine and self-discipline. Chores also need charts and labels. Each kid needs to have their chore to complete no matter how small. In our home my children take the dishes out and clean their room.
Remember, discipline rooted in love and faith not only corrects but also nurtures and guides their development, helping your children grow into responsible, God-fearing individuals. Discipline isn’t supposed to be used to soley punish children but also to instill good habits for their future including treating people with love and respect.
Use Scripture to Teach the importance of discipline.
Discipline is rooted in the idea of accountability, and the Bible is rich with passages that emphasize personal responsibility. Verses such as Galatians 6:7 " Whatever a person sows, this he will also reap," can be used to highlight the consequences of actions.
When addressing a particular behavior, point to specific scriptures that align with the situation. For example, if a child fails to tell the truth, Proverbs 12:22” The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth" can serve as a reminder of the importance of honesty. Rather than simply focusing on punishment, this approach imparts a deeper understanding of why certain behaviors are harmful and how they affect others.
As women navigating the delicate balance of guiding and nurturing, it’s important to remember that discipline should always be tempered with grace. The Bible offers beautiful examples of forgiveness that can inspire us in this journey. One of the most touching stories is that of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). Here, a father welcomes back his wayward child with open arms, showing us the deep power of love and forgiveness.
This story reminds us that forgiveness doesn’t erase the need for correction, but it transforms how we approach it. Discipline rooted in love, not anger or resentment, creates space for healing and growth. When we lean on these biblical lessons, we communicate that discipline is not about punishment or condemnation, but about restoration and hope. This perspective can encourage those we guide to embrace change and feel valued, even in moments of correction. Which leads me into my next observation.
I’ve observed that an effective way to incorporate the Bible into discipline is by using its stories to teach lessons. This, I feel tends to be better used with younger children. Reminding ourselves as well, that the stories that we read our kids aren’t just bedtime stories but lessons from God. If we are to live a God focused life we need to start learning from our focal point. As Christian parents our desire for our children is to teach them the deeper meanings of Bible passages. We so often hear about children’s stories that are told in Sunday School, but why stop there? For example, the story of Jonah teaches the importance of obedience, while the parable of the Prodigal Son conveys the values of forgiveness and repentance. When addressing behavioral issues, parents and educators can draw parallels between the situation at hand and a relevant Bible story. This not only helps children understand the moral implications of their actions but also introduces them to the richness of Biblical narratives. Such stories can serve as a gentle and relatable way to guide behavior while fostering spiritual growth.
Scripture offers timeless wisdom that can be directly tied to daily life and choices. Verses like Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” or Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” can be memorized and discussed within the context of discipline. Parents and mentors can use these verses to explain the consequences of actions such as speaking harshly or neglecting kindness. Over time, these verses can become guiding principles that children internalize, helping them make better choices even in the absence of direct guidance.
Another way to integrate the Bible into discipline is by encouraging reflection through prayer and meditation on God’s Word. After addressing a behavioral issue, take time to pray together, seeking wisdom and strength to improve. This could include reading a verse that relates to the situation or asking for guidance to make better decisions in the future. For instance, Psalm 119:105 (“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path”) can remind individuals to let Biblical teachings guide their actions. Reflection through prayer not only instills accountability but also emphasizes the importance of turning to God during moments of growth and learning. I believe that it is important for parents to explain why they disciplined their child, and how to correct their behavior as well.
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One new book that has caught my attention is called “Shepherding Your Child's Heart,” by Tedd Trip. This book focuses on addressing the root causes of the child’s behavior by focusing on their inner character and motivations rather than just managing outward actions.
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These are the five ways which are a good starting place for practicing Christian based discipline, weather you have a child that needs changes or a child that is going into a new phase in life and may need adjustments. I know that for my kids being quick to correct rather than allowing them to keep pursuing their task is better received than if we were to wait. Other kids may need something a bit different, like talking about all of it at the end of the task.
While discipline is necessary, it is equally important to encourage and affirm your children. Celebrate their successes and commend their efforts to live according to biblical teachings. Integrating the Bible into your discipline strategy as a Christian mom requires dedication and intentionality. By using scripture as a guide, modeling biblical principles, incorporating prayer, and creating a faith-filled home environment, you can shape your children's character and behavior in a way that honors God. Remember, discipline rooted in love and faith not only corrects but also nurtures and guides, helping your children grow into responsible, God-fearing individuals.
