Faith-filled Discipline

Honestly, I have those days—where the kids are running wild, everyone needs something at the exact same time, and before I know it, I’ve lost my cool.

As we navigate the beautiful yet challenging journey of motherhood, it’s essential to remember that we are not alone. We have each other, and we have the wisdom and guidance of the Bible to light our path. In Proverbs 31: 25-26, it is written “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue”. We are strong through Christ to be mothers who carry the Lord’s blessing.  Even being raised in the same household by the same parents, two siblings never turn out the same. When you are in the season of raising children, you quickly learn that each child takes you on a different parenting journey. My eight-year-old? Needs clear rules and structure to thrive. He is more sensitive and needs to have time to zone out after school. I need to be ready to comfort him and allow him to confide in me without pushing him. My five-year-old is my little free spirit who blossoms with encouragement, not strict rules. And she will tell me everything that bothers her at school and all that she accomplished. It’s a balancing act, and some days it feels impossible to get it just right. I find myself praying and asking God to help me do and say the right thing when I’m at my wits-end as I navigate my own mom-emotions. As a young woman raising an eight-year-old and a five-year-old with a baby, I’m always searching for the most effective discipline methods for each child. But how do I actually make it work.

As we navigate the beautiful yet challenging journey of motherhood, it’s essential to remember that we are not alone. We have each other, and we have the wisdom and guidance of the Bible to light our path. In Proverbs 31: 25-26, it is written “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue”. We are strong through Christ to be mothers who carry the Lord’s blessing.  Even being raised in the same household by the same parents, two siblings never turn out the same. When you are in the season of raising children, you quickly learn that each child takes you on a different parenting journey.

My eight-year-old? Needs clear rules and structure to thrive. He is more sensitive and needs to have time to zone out after school. I need to be ready to comfort him and allow him to confide in me without pushing him. My five-year-old is my little free spirit who blossoms with encouragement, not strict rules. And she will tell me everything that bothers her at school and all that she accomplished. It’s a balancing act, and some days it feels impossible to get it just right. I find myself praying and asking God to help me do and say the right thing when I’m at my wits-end as I navigate my own mom-emotions. As a young woman raising an eight-year-old and a five-year-old with a baby, I’m always searching for the most effective discipline methods for each child. But how do I actually make it work.

Looking back, I realize my childhood home was structured, but not in a harsh way—it was filled with routines that gave us a sense of stability and belonging. Chores and schedules weren’t about punishment; they were about everyone pitching in and learning responsibility together. Saturday mornings always began with breakfast, then my sister and I would get dressed and tackle our weekly chore lists. We each had our own jobs, from dusting and vacuuming to cleaning the bathroom and unloading the dishwasher. As we got older and my mom’s work hours increased, we took on even more—eventually making dinners after school when she started working full time. I won’t pretend it was always easy; there were days we grumbled and struggled to keep up. But now, as a mom myself, I’m so grateful for that foundation. It taught me how to cook real meals for my family, how to keep a home running, and how to juggle responsibilities with a sense of pride rather than resentment.

I know so many of us wonder if we’re doing enough, especially when life gets busy and the to-do list feels endless. But those small daily routines—teaching our kids to help out, sharing the load, building habits together—really do matter. They set our children up with skills and confidence for life. I love knowing that my kids come home to a place that feels cared for, with home-cooked meals and a sense of order, even if it’s not perfect. And while my husband appreciates it because he often tells me how impressed he is that dinner has been made and homework is done, while teaching my students. At the end of the day, it’s not about having a spotless house or gourmet meals; it’s about modeling dedication, teamwork, and love in action. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, just remember: the routines you’re building now are shaping your kids in ways you might not even see yet. And one day, they’ll look back and be grateful for the example you set—just like I am now.

Our job as parents is to provide our children with a strong and lasting foundation that they can confidently build their lives upon as they grow into adulthood. It is our responsibility to carefully shepherd them throughout their upbringing, offering guidance and support so that they always have something solid to lean on during both  the good times and challenging ones. This foundation should be thoughtfully composed of key elements such as trust, unconditional love, and consistent structure. At times, it is necessary to lovingly show them the consequences of their actions, helping them understand the importance of making wise choices and pointing out where they messed up. Sometimes allowing them to mess up is ok as well, but you as the parent, need to know what is ok for them to mess up. Don’t let them ruin their lives over it. (Yes, I have heard of kids’ lives being ruined because their parents wanted to teach them a lesson).  This process is ultimately an act of love, designed to nurture and guide children toward a life of righteousness. As Proverbs 22:6 wisely reminds us, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it," highlighting the long-lasting impact of our efforts.

With all this in mind, it becomes clear that our daily routines and the environment we create at home are only part of the equation. I believe that the earlier and more consistently we embed Biblical guidance into our children’s lives, the stronger they will be as they face the world. It’s like preparing the soil before planting, by adding the correct nutrients and mixing it with compost—nurturing young hearts so they are ready to withstand the challenges adulthood will bring into their lives. By providing tools rooted in faith, we build a solid foundation, planting seeds of Biblical values that our children can revisit and rely on throughout their lives.

Discipline plays a vital role in this process, teaching them to remain focused on their goals. I often reflect on the wisdom of Dr. Dobson, a trusted voice for many parents back in the day. He reminded us that discipline isn’t about shaming or belittling our children, but rather about helping them understand their mistakes in the moment and gently guiding them to make things right. When we approach discipline this way, children gain a new perspective on their actions, fostering growth that extends far beyond mere rule-following.

None of us are perfect, but by supporting one another through this journey, we create an environment where our children can truly thrive.

Many times, I think of discipline as sports training for the Olympics rather than punishments. My husband often repeats that “If they do good, they get good things, and if they don’t than consequences will meet them”.  It is important to ensure that God is not seen as a source of negativity in your household so DO NOT ever say things like “God will send you to Hell for what you have done” or “God doesn’t love you anymore”. In the Olympic games, the athlete is focused on getting the gold. With the help of their coaches preparing them for years, teaching them how to build up strong muscles, develop agility, and see the end result Olympians obtain the ability to win medals. Let’s be coaches for our kids and teach them how to win that Gold in life by showing them how to work out their habits, abilities and own discipline.  

Mama to mama, can I just say—bringing prayer into my disciplining moments has truly changed things for me. Before I even talk to my kids about what went wrong, I’ll ask if we can pause and pray together, just inviting God into that situation. I’ve found it softens the whole atmosphere, for all of us. It gives me a chance to step back, breathe, and ask for a little wisdom. And it shows my kids that we can lean on God when things get tough. And honestly, being consistent with this has made all the difference in how we handle those challenging moments.

How can you create a disciplined home filled with faith?

Hebrews 12:11 states:

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful later on. However, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Discipline is more effective when children are raised in a home environment that constantly reinforces Biblical values. Surround your children with positive influences, including Christian books, music, and media. Just allowing your children to engage in activities that promote faith, such as attending church regularly and participating in community service is wonderful for their growth.

Kids require a stable environment with routines, and I believe that Summertime is the most important time in my disciplinary journey. I realize that routine gets thrown out the window every year with Kids going to bed at 10 and their room looking like a toy monster threw up. But I couldn’t let this happen time and time again. This year I wanted to make my children more independent, and I needed a good system that would work for two kids at different developmental stages of life. I turned their bedroom into a little mini preschool, labeling where all their toys go and organizing the toys based on what type of play they got from them. Art goes with art, books go with books, ect. Instilling a permanent place for their toys has helped when I ask them to clean, of course with loads of help. But now as they are in school and things need to be done quicker they don’t have to think about their toy’s placement. It has made bedtime smooth like butter.

Use Scripture to Teach the importance of discipline.

Discipline is rooted in the idea of accountability, and the Bible is rich with passages that emphasize personal responsibilities.

Verses such as Galatians 6:7

”Whatever a person sows, this he will also reap"—can be

used to highlight the consequences of actions”

Kids require a stable environment with routines

When addressing a particular behavior, point to specific scriptures that align with the situation. For example, if a child fails to tell the truth, Proverbs 12:22” The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth"—can serve as a reminder of the importance of honesty. Rather than simply focusing on punishment, this approach imparts a deeper understanding of why certain behaviors are harmful and how they affect others.

Modeling Forgiveness Through Biblical Examples

As a parent navigating the delicate balance of guiding and nurturing, it’s important to remember that discipline should always be tempered with grace. The Bible offers beautiful examples of forgiveness that can inspire us in this journey. One of the most touching stories is that of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). Here, a father welcomes back his wayward child with open arms, showing us the deep power of love and forgiveness.  I’ve observed that an effective way to incorporate the Bible into discipline is by using its stories to teach lessons. Reminding ourselves as well, that the stories that we read our kids aren’t just bedtime stories but lessons from God. If we are to live a God focused life we need to start learning from our focal point. As Christian parents our desire for our children is to teach them the deeper meanings of Bible passages. We so often hear about children’s stories that are told in Sunday school, but why stop there. For example, the story of Jonah teaches the importance of obedience, while the parable of the Prodigal Son conveys the values of forgiveness and repentance. When addressing behavioral issues, parents or educators can draw parallels between the situation at hand and a relevant Bible story. This not only helps children understand the moral implications of their actions but also introduces them to the richness of Biblical narratives. Such stories can serve as a gentle and relatable way to guide behavior while fostering spiritual growth.

Applying Scripture to Everyday Actions

Scripture offers timeless wisdom that can be directly tied to daily life and choices. Verses like Proverbs 15:1 (“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”) or Ephesians 4:32 (“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”) can be memorized and discussed within the context of discipline. Parents and mentors can use these verses to explain the consequences of actions such as speaking harshly or neglecting kindness. Over time, these verses can become guiding principles that children internalize, helping them make better choices even in the absence of direct guidance.

Encouraging Reflection Through Prayer

Another way to integrate the Bible into discipline is by encouraging reflection through prayer and meditation on God’s Word. After addressing a behavioral issue, take time to pray together, seeking wisdom and strength to improve. This could include reading a verse that relates to the situation or asking for guidance to make better decisions in the future. For instance, Psalm 119:105 (“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path”) can remind individuals to let Biblical teachings guide their actions. Reflection through prayer not only instills accountability but also emphasizes the importance of turning to God during moments of growth and learning. I believe that it is important for parents to explain why they disciplined their child, and how to correct their behavior as well.

These are the four ways which are a good starting place for practicing Christian based discipline weather you have a child that needs changes or a child that is going into a new phase in life and may need adjustments. I know that for my kids being quick to correct rather than allowing them to keep pursuing their task is better receive than if we wait. Other kids may need something a bit different, like talking about all of it at the end of the task. 

While discipline is necessary, it is equally important to encourage and affirm your children. Celebrate their successes and commend their efforts to live according to biblical teachings. Integrating the Bible into your discipline strategy as a Christian mom requires dedication and intentionality. By using scripture as a guide, modeling biblical principles, incorporating prayer, and creating a faith-filled home environment, you can shape your children's character and behavior in a way that honors God. Remember, discipline rooted in love and faith not only corrects but also nurtures and guides, helping your children grow into responsible, God-fearing individuals.

Remember, discipline rooted in love and faith not only corrects but also nurtures and guides their development, helping your children grow into responsible, God-fearing individuals. Discipline isn’t supposed to be used to Soley punish children but also to instill good habits for their future including treating people with love and respect.