Transitioning from Work to Stay-at-Home Mom: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Navigating the Shift:
My Journey from Working Woman to Stay-at-Home Mom
The chores and chaos of life can sometimes make my mind spin, as if I’m on a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. Life’s daily chores and chaos can feel overwhelming, and I often wished for a world where everything made sense. Often, I feel like I’m living for everyone else, seeking acceptance and happiness from those around me, all while forgetting the real purpose I should be focused on. At times, I wish for a Disney princess world where chores are magically completed, and I could live in bliss. In reality, being a mom means living for others and sometimes losing sight of my own purpose.
The Everyday Reality
Mondays used to mean getting dressed for work, putting on make-up, and preparing for a day at the office. Now, my mornings revolve around helping my child with breakfast and getting ready for school. The skills I once used for presentations are now applied into convincing my kids that broccoli won’t grow into a tree inside them.
As a working mom, I still had to think of dinners, homework, and taking care of the house. How was I going to do this and still be a good mother and wife?
Before this new chapter of my life, I was always working. I have to say, since I was 16 I worked. I was lucky to have this ability and privilege to choose making money and relying on myself, even when I lived at home. This allowed me to pursue some goals that I had as a young 20-something year old. But as I got married and had kids I began to add more to my plate. I was now adding work, taking care of the kids, and making sure the house was taken care of, turning into some sort of super woman. I was soon hit with a reality check when I realized that super woman status was becoming my kryptonite. As a working mom, I still had to think of dinners, homework, and taking care of the house. How was I going to do this and still be a good mother and wife? I remember the day that I called my husband distraught at work because I felt as though I was moving backwards from where I started with my career goals. He responded with “just quit and follow your real dreams”. I was dumbfounded. The world had been telling me my whole life, that my value was in working and how I did outside of work, and now my husband opened a new door for me. I didn’t need to work a 40 hour per week job and struggle. I could use some time to work on myself and us as a couple. I was going to stay home with my younger daughter to make my dreams come true. But regardless I still had that voice telling me that I would be worth more as a working woman.
This internal struggle is subtle but persistent, a constant tug-of-war between trust and worry. I often questioned whether my daughter would flourish more in the company of other children and teachers, recalling how my son’s early school years were filled with birthday parties and growing friendships. I worried about how my daughter would eventually adjust to school and how my son might cope with my absence. Now, with me staying home all day, my mind raced with questions: Are they behaving? Are their classmates kind? What do their teachers think of them?
Despite these concerns, I learned to set them aside and focus on what my children needed when they came home. I wanted our home to be a safe and comforting space where they could share their worries, rather than the way it used to be when I was too busy with work to be present for them. Looking back, I can confidently say I am more engaged in their lives than ever before. My schedule now centers around their needs, and I cherish the memories of watching them grow up with an attentive, present mom.
Why I Chose to Stay Home
My decision to leave work and stay home with my daughter was prompted by a frightening experience: her first seizure, at just twelve months old. She was on top of the slide about to fall when her teacher caught her just in the nick of time. I remember my boss running to me to take her to the emergency room as fast as I could. The shock and uncertainty were overwhelming. After months of worry and searching for answers, I realized that safeguarding her future was something my husband and I could not take lightly. So, I put in my two weeks’ notice, not knowing that this choice would lead to a whirlwind of decisions over the next year.
Suddenly without notice we were in shutdown. My son didn’t have a school to go to, and I would become his new teacher. Determined not to let my children fall behind, I began homeschooling them. Our mornings included homeschooling, followed by outdoor play and a flexible routine that balanced learning and fun. Since my daughter was young, she enjoyed being around her older brother. Remembering this helped me get the ball rolling again into creating my own business, but even the positivity of my own work didn’t replace being around people every day.
Reflections on Work and Community
While I encourage women to consider staying home, I also recognize the advantages of working outside the home. Work offers a sense of community, opportunities for adult interaction, and stress relief through shared responsibilities. Being home all day can mean cutting oneself off from adult conversations and interactions. You don’t have to feel cut off from the world around you. But despite the joy of being home with my family, I quickly felt isolated. I missed the friendships and camaraderie that work provided, especially the daily interactions with my colleagues. I needed to find outlets to connect with other stay at home moms, as most of my girlfriends worked all day. I found out that there were tons of mom groups. I finally joined a mops-like group at my church with some other of my mom friends. So far it has been great to get connected on a deeper level with them. I am finding out that I wasn’t the only one who felt so isolated. Who knew!
Everyday Reality
When I first began my new life as a stay-at-home mom, I felt the isolation. I remember talking to my mom about it and she confirmed that it was something all stay at home moms have to go through. But in the end, the connection that I would get with my children and my husband was going to be worth it. I had a family to focus on, not a job and others around me. I wanted to be that for my family. I now had this and my kids had good home cooked meals. But, as beautiful as it was and still is, being at home with my children all day, I craved adult interaction.
Being a stay-at-home mom means teamwork with your Husband.
My greatest advice to moms considering staying home is to secure some source of income, however small. Not to say that this is because of my distrust towards my husband or the need to be independent, but because of the uncertainty of our economy today. My husband and I had established an emergency fund and multiple streams of passive income, which provided a safety net during the transition from dual to single income. This financial groundwork allowed us to adjust smoothly and explore side hustles. Once our plan was finalized, the transition felt manageable and positive. One way that we did this was through Acorns which does investments for you. This app has saved me many times if I was just a little bit under budget and needed some rainy-day money. It invests everything for you and you don’t need to know much about investing or the market. It is where I started on my investment journey and I hope you try it too.
Starting the Journey Together
With our financial foundation secure, I withdrew my daughter from preschool, and we embraced this new chapter as a family. My daughter became my constant companion, and our choice impacted not just our household but our extended families as well, as routines shifted to support our decision. At times I was very stressed and had to learn to rely on and trust my husband that he had our situation under control and that his job was enough. I had to put away all my insecurities from my past and really focus on letting things go. My husband and I had to trust that everything we prayed about what going to work out well. We had to put our faith in Gods provision as we navigated through less income for the time being. I have to say God provided through this time and we came out the other side better partners.
Building a Side Income and Enriching Family Life
During this period, I focused on creating a side income that enabled us to maintain a more comfortable lifestyle. Being home with my kids has brought immense joy, and building my piano teaching business has enriched our family’s life. I had to shift my thought process from what the world has told me for so many years and be ok with not worrying about income. My new mission was to raise our children and help them succeed in life. But it has been so instilled in us that everyone should work that still as I write this, I have an inkling of a thought that maybe staying home isn’t the best. I chose to teach piano but after COVID I have seen so many people being forced into entrepreneurship (moms especially). Today I love what I do. I wake up every day wondering why I hadn’t done this earlier.
Today I have gone through this transition of understanding being a stay-at-home mom. while hearing the world talking Looking back, the journey from working professional to stay-at-home mom has been filled with challenges, growth, and unexpected rewards. While the transition brought moments of doubt and isolation, it also deepened my connection with my family and allowed me to discover new strengths within myself. I’ve learned that there is no single “right” path for every mother—each family’s needs and circumstances are unique. What matters most is making intentional choices rooted in love, faith, and a willingness to adapt. Whether at home or in the workplace, mothers everywhere are doing their best for their families, and that is something to be celebrated. As I continue on this path, I am grateful for the lessons learned and the opportunity to shape my children’s lives in ways I never imagined possible.
Proverbs 31:25: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come,"
