On the Prowl for a Biblical Husband
Before we move on to talking about our husbands and their role in our families as wives. We must first understand what a husband is in the christian sense. Websters dictionary explains that a husband is:
“A man contracted or joined to a woman by marry A man to whom a woman is betrothed, as well as one actually united by marriage, is called a husband” -Webster*At the end of this blog is a quick little marriage assessment test that I found useful. Give this one or any other test a try. This is not an affiliate blog post.
In the Bible john says that
“The husband is the head of the wife as
Christ is the head of the church,
his body of which he is the Savior”
Ephesians 5:23
According the 1 Samuel 3":13 the man is the one who is to take responsibility for his wives actions. he is responsible for the emotional and spiritual wellbeing of his wife.
When I was in the search of looking for a husband in my earlier 20’s I had a list, I mean a long list of negotiables and one non-negotiables he must have. And he better really come close to having these qualities for my future husband. I’m sure most if not all women think of a list of things they need in their future spouse. The only thing that I wasn’t going to compromise on was his faith and mine. I needed a man who had a foundation that him and I could build a future on.
The Biblical Foundation for Headship
The concept of a husband as the head of the home is rooted in Scripture. Ephesians 5:23 states, "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior." This headship is modeled after Christ's leadership—sacrificial, loving, and righteous. It is not a license for selfishness or abuse, but a call to gently guide and protect one's family. Many modern women take issues with this. I always say “it says ‘like Christ loved the church,’ do you remember how that story ends?”
In Christian families, the role of a husband is both a privilege and a responsibility. The Bible describes the man as the head of the home, tasked with leading his family in love, wisdom, and integrity. However, biblical leadership is not about dominance or control—it is about serving, protecting, and nurturing one's wife and children. I remember hearing this point of view the first time on a Christian show on the infamous TBN, a couple of years ago and it changed my view of my husband instantly. I have grown up hearing some people say that the head of the house meant that the husband’s role was to say what to do, and the wife just followed. How Rude! But the bible mentions that God gave Adam a helper, Eve. But she was not to be his slave or servant, but the one who walks beside him. It is later reiterated when the Bible mentions that a husband and wife are to be equally yoked (not the egg yolk.) 😊 It also tells us to submit to one another.
My husband often tells me that I have been the most challenging person for him to help make feel better. And I am honored to be that person in his life! But all joking aside. I have observed him as the man who people are comfortable with opening up to. He tends to have a gift of making people feel better in the end of their conversations. I am the person who sulks in her moods for the whole day almost. And I agree I am challenging in this way. But even through my challenges he is able to let me see Gods plan in everything that I am going through.
I do know it is important to make time to read the Bible together and to talk about each other’s views of the Bible. A man who doesn’t appreciate his wife’s faith and beliefs can’t grow and become a better leader. I believe that my husband and I can and should challenge one another’s beliefs. My husband went to Bible college, so I do respect his point of view. But at times I disagree and challenge him on his views. He often plays the devil’s advocate throughout our conversations and makes me prove my points of view. I feel that this is a wise way to grow in your faith as a couple because it opens up doors to understanding one another. In these conversations he is cautious not to put me down when he challenges me in my faith.
Leadership Through Love and Sacrifice
The Bible clearly instructs husbands to love their wives deeply and sacrificially. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This means putting the needs of his spouse above his own, being patient, and demonstrating kindness even in difficult moments. However, if there is an impasse that can’t be agreed upon, the responsibility lands on him to make the right choice and the wife follows even if she disagrees. Leadership in the Christian home is not about asserting authority but about fostering an environment of mutual respect and unconditional love.
Servant Leadership: Following Christ’s Example
Jesus taught that true leaders serve others. In Mark 10:44-45, He declared, "Whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." This teaching radically redefines leadership, shifting the focus from authority and power to sacrificial service and humility. In the context of the Christian home, this means that a husband’s leadership is not about dominating or controlling, but about putting the needs of his family before his own and being willing to make personal sacrifices for their well-being.
Christian husbands are called to lead by serving their families—listening, supporting, and helping in practical ways. This might look like sharing household responsibilities, being emotionally present, encouraging family members in their individual pursuits, and intentionally making time for meaningful conversations. Servant leadership involves being attentive to the unique needs of each family member and responding with compassion, patience, and understanding.
When a husband chooses to lead with a servant’s heart, he creates a safe and nurturing environment where his wife and children feel valued and respected. This approach fosters deeper connections and builds trust, as family members know that their thoughts, feelings, and contributions matter. Furthermore, servant leadership models Christ’s love and sets a powerful example for children on how to treat others with kindness and humility both inside and outside the home.
Ultimately, servant leadership is not about relinquishing responsibility but about embracing it in a way that honors God and strengthens family bonds. It means guiding with wisdom and grace, encouraging spiritual growth, and cultivating a home filled with mutual respect and unconditional love. By following Christ’s example of service, husbands not only fulfill their biblical calling but also inspire their families to do the same.
What the Bible Says About Women Avoiding Abuse of Their Husband's Authority
The Bible not only addresses husbands, but also provides guidance to wives on how to respond when authority is misused. Scripture upholds the dignity and worth of every person, especially a wife of a Christian husband, who is to protect her and treat her as his own body. A man is not to take advandage of a wife who is submissibe to him but make sure that their relationship thrives. A man is to make sure that his wife is also strong in her faith. Proverbs 31 describes a virtuous woman as strong, wise, and dignified—someone who is valued and respected, not oppressed. In Ephesians 5:21, both husbands and wives are called to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” emphasizing mutual respect and partnership rather than blind obedience. Plus who is he to go to if his wife is only blindly following him and not growing in her own self worth.
Galatians 5:13 calls all Christians to “serve one another humbly in love,” and 1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to treat their wives with honor as co-heirs of God’s grace, meaning wives are never to be treated as less than equal partners.
When a husband’s leadership crosses into abuse—whether emotional, physical, or spiritual—the Bible does not condone silence or passivity. Instead, it encourages believers to stand for what is right. For example, Galatians 5:13 calls all Christians to “serve one another humbly in love,” and 1 Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to treat their wives with honor as co-heirs of God’s grace, meaning wives are never to be treated as less than equal partners.
Women are encouraged to seek help, counsel, and protection within the Christian community if they experience abuse or manipulation. The Bible repeatedly affirms God’s heart for justice and care for those who are oppressed (Psalm 82:3-4; Isaiah 1:17). It is not only appropriate but necessary for a wife to speak up against abuse and seek safety for herself and her children. God’s design for marriage is built on love, respect, and mutual support—not fear or domination.
Ultimately, biblical marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love, where both husband and wife are empowered to flourish. When authority is abused, it is contrary to God’s intention, and wives are called to value themselves as beloved daughters of God, seeking wisdom, support, and protection as needed.
Encouraging Spiritual Growth and Unity
Part of a husband's role is to encourage the spiritual growth of his family. Joshua 24:15 expresses this commitment: "But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Leading by example in prayer, worship, and study of the Word helps create a strong spiritual foundation within the home. Husbands should invite their wives and children into meaningful discussions about faith, fostering unity and shared purpose.
It has been such a joy to me as a wife to see that my husband pays attention to my faith. I remember specifically sitting at a restaurant on The Ave at University of Washington eating dinner one night with my girl-friends. I was caught observing a couple sitting off to the side on the couch reading the Bible. I specifically remember them reading something in the Bible and then talking about it and looking through other parts. I obviously don’t know what they were talking about, but I very clearly remember praying to God that I would one day have that in my forever relationship with my husband. And boy did God listen. Not only did I get a husband who encourages me to read the Bible daily but gives me the most challenging questions and discussions that sometimes make me wonder if my faith is strong enough. My husband does this out of love for me. He is amazing at being able to look at himself from the outside perspective and challenge himself on who is he. I believe that this is what makes us such a great couple because I am able to reflect on myself through his leadership.
Practical Ways to Lead Biblically
By watching my husband lead me through the different seasons of our marriage I have come to realize some things about what is means to be a Christian husband. And I took notes.
· Pray daily for your family and seek God's wisdom in decision-making.
· Communicate openly and listen actively to your spouse and children.
· Serve your family through acts of kindness and selfless support.
· Encourage spiritual practices like reading Scripture and attending church together and talking about things that you have heard about.
· Model humility by admitting mistakes and seeking forgiveness.
Here is a link to a quick Marriage Assessment Test to see where you may stand with your husband or the man you are looking to marry one day.
The role of a Christian husband is not defined by dominance, but by Christ-like love and service. Biblical leadership in the home means guiding with wisdom, protecting with gentleness, and nurturing spiritual and emotional growth. By embracing this calling, husbands can build strong, loving families that reflect the heart of God.
Proverbs 31:25: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come,"
